Let's talk about pets, baby? ? Eight wheels on the ground

Damnitall, I was doing so well. For as long as my neurotic, violent, vomiting, aged cat has been dead (that?s eight year or thereabouts), I?ve reveled in my pet-free life. ?I have kids!? I say. ?That?s as much feeding, cleaning, and training as one person needs.? Plus, I kind of hate animals. I mean, OK, maybe hate is a bit much, but strongly, strongly dislike would not be too harsh a phrase. I?m not scared of them (usually), I haven?t had a particularly awful experience with a pet, I?m mildly allergic to the furry ones, but that?s not it. They just? don?t do anything for me. I?m sure your dog is the cutest, least-smelly, non-crotch-sniffing, never-jumper there is, but? I?m still not gonna like it. I?m just not. I?m super-happy for you that you love it, I don?t begrudge anyone else their animal love? it?s just Not For Me.?My kids go through phases where they pine and beg and keen for a dog, but they know deep in their hearts it ain?t never gonna happen.

So imagine my surprise to find myself sitting in the dark in the dining room two nights ago, willing our new little housemates to eat their dinners so I could sleep easy knowing they weren?t depressed and unhappy in their new home.

What happened??

Good question.

For about a year I?ve agonized over whether or not it?s fair for me to impose my extreme dislike of house pets onto my kids. They are DYING for an animal. It would teach them about responsibilities, empathy, life cycles, etc., etc. Their little faces light up ? LIGHT UP!!! ? when they see/wrestle/snuggle any animal, even the repulsive?skinny pig?our friends have. It was that moment a few weeks ago ? seeing the joy in their eyes watching and cuddling this hairless lump of skin, that made me snap. Dear god ? they are so desperate to love and care for something, they?ll even adore?that?! Something had to be done.

After a pretty short turnaround, and a decent attempt by a friend to lobby me towards a pet you could hold, train and pet, I settled on fish. I figured as far as pets go, the work, smell and underfoot factors of fish are negligible. Of course with any kids? pets, one has to consider what work one is actually going to end up doing, and with kids who live with another parent half-time, I?m guaranteed to have to do some pet-care in their absence. Was I willing to walk something? Nope. Vacuum up hair? Nope. Wash/change bedding? Nope. Touch an animal in any way? No, thank you. Clean up something?s bathroom? Absolutely not. (The one I have for humans is plenty.) Clearly, fish were the pets for us. All I have to do is drop in some food flakes a couple times a day when they boys are at their dad?s, and the kids will feed them when they?re here, clean the tanks once a week, as instructed, no problem. (Yes, I know, that?s exactly how it?s all going to work out.)

Picking a fish is no simple (or inexpensive) task, let me tell you. All the fish I WANTED were for advanced fish-lovers, cost $20 or more each, and required 30 to 50 gallons of water. OK. I set my sights a little lower and brought home two of these little guys:

Apparently they don?t require much space or fancy equipment, so, great.

Then the quest for the perfect tank, which frankly was less about what the fish may need and more about what matches the new shelf I may have bought on which to display my (I mean the kids?) fish. I almost persuaded myself to buy a couple of jars at the dollar store until I saw the cube tanks with customize-able backgrounds and accompanying LED lights. Whoops.

$80 later ($180 if you include the shelf), I was home with two animals, an array of fish-success products, and an assemble-it-yourself shelving unit.

What a quick, easy, inexpensive little treat for my boys!!

After four hours of shelf assembly, furniture moving, piano-levelling, and not too much swearing (thank you, thank you, thank you to my birthday girl/assistant/aesthetic consultant/piano-hefter), we were looking at this:

Nice, right?! I think so.

The boys came home yesterday and were gratifyingly excited to meet their new pets. ?Oh, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I can?t believe you got us a pet!!!?

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?Next, can we get a dog??

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Source: http://skateathomemom.wordpress.com/2013/01/15/lets-talk-about-pets-baby/

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